Change. A scary word to some. An exciting one to others. Yet, every single one us has to encounter change through out our lifetime. The power of change is ever present and ever powerful, lets ponder this in a little more detail.
Your kids will move out, the government will change, your parents will die, our looks and strength will fade. All of these changes are inevitable, yet we wander through life with this cloak of fear blanketing us. We fear what must be and we have no control to change it, so why is change so hard for humans?
A lot of these fearful patterns come from our childhood. Some psychological defensive coping patterns can become painful destructive patterns in adulthood and can create an inability to flourish. A psychological adaptation that served useful when confronted with over protective parents or an abusive bully at school, served its primary purpose during these traumatic times. Yet, unfortunately if taken into adulthood hinders one from excelling.
This becomes truly problematic when the same pattern of behavior we used to survive tough times as a child, generalizes itself when the situation of trauma or abuse is absent ie. fear of job interviews, trying new things, letting go of loved ones ect. Why do we hang on to these adaptations when they no longer have any coping value?
Well, we can speculate that these habits and poor responses to change come from our biology. Change for our ancestors usually meant death. We can also blame our need for a sense of self. Without a self we would be wanton fools drifting through life on a whim. Yet, many of us would love to be able to change things about ourselves like we change our clothes. This would be more of a curse. Our brains are powerful and our mind likes to cling to what has allowed for self preservation and survival.
This is a little piece on the neurotic part of our inability to change, but never-fear change is a good thing, it makes life interesting.
“There are . . . limits to how much and how quickly an individual can change without jeopardizing his or her psychological integrity (that is, sense of self and reality).” (Michael Mahoney, Human Change Processes)
Change is hard, but it can be beautiful.
I personally prefer to focus on the positive aspect of change. The type of change that can make us feel alive, help better ourselves and our fellow man.
Take a personal example. I moved from a mining town in the middle of Western Australia when i was 8 to a coastal town south of Perth, leaving my grandparents and school friends behind. A pretty big change, but at that age i just took it in my stride and made the most of it.
Another example. My parent’s split up when i was 17. This created a pretty radical change in my life during a rather impressionable, important time. I had to embrace the change, learn and grow. If that did not happen i may have never left the country town i grew up in and moved to Melbourne, Perth and Vancouver. I would have never met my beautiful partner, i wouldn’t have my dog, i wouldn’t be the man i am today. My life would be completely different. Learning to embrace change is a powerful tool.
I personally prefer to focus on the positive aspect of change. The type of change that can make us feel alive, help better ourselves and our fellow man. I’ve myself experienced
I love the bodies ability to change itself after we put it through physical stress. You can take a weak, untrained body and do a basic gym routine for 90 days and your body will change. This type of change is merely aesthetic, but a perfectly representation for how with continued consistent effort one can illicit change in their life. Going to the gym is simple, but hard and worth it.
The power of change is there for all to see all the time. A sunny day and stormy night. A calm sea and a ferocious wave stricken shore. The warmth on your skin and the cold on your feet. It is apart of us and i for one am glad for it.
We, you, have the power to change the world.
Next time you’re at the shops, try smiling at the stranger, it might just change their day.
Let all try and grow together.
I hope you all have a wonderful day or night wherever you are. Until next time.